Shattered Picture
by neveragain77
Summary: The blood didn't stop flowing, and he felt nauseated for the first time at the sight of it pooling under her small frame and forever staining the beige carpeting. Child Death but it's different from the rest.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Shattered Picture

Author: Me

Warning: contains child death

A/N: Ok so I know your thing great another child death story but trust me this one is different.

Disclaimer: If I owned anything than there would be no break between seasons. I only own Ella and Ethan.

The sound of a gunshot woke him, but he dismissed it as a car backfiring and laid his head back onto his pillow. He had worked a 24 hour shift and was exhausted. Meredith who slept like a log was next to him curled into the fetal position. A blood-curdling scream had him running from his room and down the stairs. He knew what he would find when he got to the den but he prayed that his kids: Ethan his first-born the one who loved to wrestle on the living room floor at the ripe age of seven, and Ella his baby girl who at four was able to convince him to dress up like a princess all day, were both safe in their beds sound asleep. The door was closed and he paused for a split second to collect his thoughts, the screaming had stopped but whimpering was heard from inside. He saw the blood first and then the small arm covered by princess pajamas on the ground. He only had time to gasp before his world started to spin and then turned black.

His world was shaking, literally.

The haze that came after passing out was still heavy but slowly everything came back, the blood, his baby girl on the floor, a gunshot. He bolted up knocking Ethan over in the process who had been the cause of his world shaking.

"Where's your sister" his voice was frantic and as he asked the question he looked around the small den that had been added on after Meredith found out she was pregnant with Ella.

"It was an accident I swear, Daddy. I'm so sorry it was an accident."

"Call 9-1-1." When his son him and continued to repeat the sentence he yelled startling the child.

"Now Ethan!" the boy ran out heading towards the nearest phone, in the kitchen which still seemed to far.

For the second time since becoming a surgeon Alex Karev froze. The first time he was in an elevator and luckily George had been there, but now he had no one. He wasn't about to take the chance to run and get Meredith.

Finally his instincts kicked in and he grabbed a sweatshirt from the back of the nearest chair brown leather and applied it to the gunshot wound that, he quickly assessed, went straight through his daughter chest, near if not directly through her heart. The blood didn't stop flowing, and he felt nauseated for the first time at the sight of it pooling under her small frame and forever staining the beige carpeting.

The shaking slowly slowed as he closed him self off as he had to do when Ethan had stopped breathing his second day home from the hospital.

Suddenly arms were enclosing his pulling him off his angel. He realized it was the paramedics when he whipped around ready to attack the person. He hadn't even heard the sirens or the front door open.

Meredith appeared next to him shock stopping the sobs he knew would come later. He turned expectantly towards the paramedics trying to figure out why they hadn't wheeled Ella out already.

"Time of death 4:37"

His mind shut down. The only sounds that he heard was the sobbing coming from where Meredith had flung herself onto their daughter's body continuing compressions with every thing she had in her, and to his right where Ethan was clinging to his leg his eyes shut tight mumbling that same sentence.

"It was an accident I swear, Daddy. I'm so sorry it was an accident."

A/N: ok so I was going to stop after Alex passed out but I felt that would be too mean. This isn't the average child death story so review and tell me what you think, should I continue or not.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: wow its been crazy. I started school I work 4 days a week and my computer crashed. But i'm back and hopefully better than ever. Safe Haven wil be updated next but I finished this first so...

Disclaimer: Let me check...uh-huh...yes...ok... Nope sorry!

The waiting room chairs were hard but he barely noticed. Meredith was seated on his right side and she seemed to be silently sobbing but the mere thought of turning his head to look was nauseating. Ethan had choosen to sit on the floor and if Alex had tuned in to any other noise but the pounding of his heart in his ears he would have known that he son had continued you to repeat the same phrase he had back at the house. The police station was gloomy. The walls were painted gray but over time seemed to have turned a dark black color. A snapping sound was heard every so often as the secretary snapped her gum. It was extremely irritating and if his family wasn't clinging to him like super glue he would have gone over there. A police officer who sat clostest to them would glance up every couple of minutes, a frown crossing his features briefly. Closing his eyes, Alex allowed his head to drop back against the wall behind him, exhaustion setting in. Exhaustion. It was a hell of alot better than grief which he couldn't take right now. His shoulders slowly relaxed until a gunshot rang through his ears causing him to jump and consequently Meredith smacked her head on the wall. She didn't react, and that probably scared him more than anything. His eyes were large and his breathing shallow until he realized it was just a figment of his imagination. His clothes along with Ethan's and Meredith's had been taken into evidence and she shivered despite the heavy sweatshirt Detective Gibson had given her.

"Mommy"

They were the first words that had been spoken since, Meredith had cursed out a paramedic for trying to wheel her "baby" out.

"Mommy?" Ethan tried again his voice shaking ever so slightly.

Giving up, he pushed himself up from the floor and attempted to crawl into her lap. She sat up so fast Alex had to reach his hand out to catch his son.

"Don't... just don't touch me" her voice was low and and shook Alex to his core. She sat down again and Ethan remained standing confusion marring his features.

"Oh my gosh. Alex. Meredith what's going on I got your message but it was so rushed I couldn't hear anything. Where's Ella?" Izzie's blonde hair flew behind her as she rushed up, Mark trailing slowly behind her attempting to keep Lucas in his stroller.

The question was an innocent one. Where was their daughter? But it was also a question he couldn't answer because he barely knew where he was at the moment.

Turning, he reached out his hand just in time, Meredith had rose again and from the look on his son's face it was for the same reason as last time.

"Iz, can you watch Ethan for a minute?" his tone was clipped and filled with anger causing Izzie to stop in her tracks and nod slowly. Still uncertain of what happened she sat down and Ethan immediately curled up in her lap searching for the comfort his mother was unable or unwilling to give.

"Meredith I need to talk to you, now." his voice had softened slightly but the anger was still present.

She followed him into the hallway where he was lead to be question and cleared eight hours ago when they first arrived at the station.

"What's the matter with you?" She looked confused by the question.

"You won't even touch your son, let alone look him in the eye and he's starting to realize that. He's not a dumb boy."

She looked shocked for a moment before her face hardened and he could tell immediately she was shutting herself off but he could care less right now.

Her next statement was soft, low and said with such hatred the air left his lungs.

"He killed my daughter" and she walked away, her sandles slapping the ground as she made her way outside into the frigid night.

A/N: it's kind of short and nothing huge happens it was sort of just a filler but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. Review.


	3. Realization

Title: Shattered Picture

Author: Me

Rating: T for language although not so much for this chapter

Note: Okay so I lied, but I'm still extremely busy with work and school but I promise I wil try to get these up as soon as I write them.

Disclaimer: Again I own NOTHING. Jeez I swear no one listens. Oh and all mistakes are mine and it's like four in the morning so I'm sure there are some. I'll try and fix the ones I find.

It had started to rain about ten minutes ago, drizziling at first, but continuing to speed up until she could barely see out the windshield. It probably wasn't the best idea to leave her husband and son alone at the police station, but she felt like she was suffocating, drowning and it was a feeling too familiar for comfort. Meredith Karev never wanted to be one of those mothers, the one who plays favorites but as soon as Ella was put into her arms she melted. It wasn't like she loved Ethan any less, he was her son too, but Ella... Ella reminded her so much of her self. The long dirty-blonde locks that fell just past her shoulders, the small pout that would form on her lips when daddy said she couldn't use the vacuum, the last time she had sucked up a jar full of pennies, it was all Meredith and that was why she had ran out. Because when Ella was shot so was Meredith, the only difference... Meredith didn't die, and that, she thought, was the worst punishment.

Christina's house was quiet, all the lights off except for the porch and Allie's room on the second floor. She was afraid of the dark. Cristina had met Christopher a year after being left at the alter. They got married a year and a half later in late '09. Thirteen months later she gave birth to the twins Makyla and Ryan. A bundle of black hair and soft features they had to be the cutest kids Meredith had ever laid eyes on, besides her own. Allie was born tthree years after the twins, the same year as Ella was.

Meredith made her way up the stairs slowly her feet making a soft padding noise on the hard wood floor. She was suddenly hit with a memory from years ago. Allie and Ella had been playing upstairs while Meredith and Christina sat in the living room. Next thing she knew both girls had come tumbling down the wood stairs. Both mothers had froze, standing there till Ella's crying had snapped them out of it. Ella had busted her lip open and had a broken pinkie, while Allie had sprained her ankle and chipped a tooth, they had spent the next couple of weeks on the ground floor. At the time Meredith had thought that was the worst thing that could happen to her baby girl. She was wrong. Christina and Christopher's room was at the end of the hall, the door slightly open but the light off. Making her way down the hall she pushed open the door the rest of the way with her toe. The couple appeared to be spooning and Meredith would have laughed if she had the energy. Tapping Christopher softly on the shoulder, he jolted slightly his eyes taking a minute to focus. Realizing who it was he rolled over and pushed Christina awake and crawled out of bed, he was way to used to sleeping in the guest room, as was Alex. Christina reached a hand up and pointed to the dresser, knowing just from Meredith's prescence that she wasn't ready to talk just yet. Meredith left the room, changing and going to the bathroom, then came back and crawled into bed next to her best friend. Rolling over she came face to face with the women she had gone to with every problem or tragedy she's had since... hell she couldn't even remember.

"I think my son killed my daughter." she said it with an even voice but as soon as the last word left her mouth she began to sob so hard the bed shook. Before it was easy to pretend that she was dreaming, that this was all a horrible nightmare and that she'd wake up tomorrow morning with Ella bouncing on the bed asking if she could help make breakfast. But now, now that she had said it out loud it became real, and she didn't like reality.

Christina opened her mouth, and closed it repeating the process a couple of more times before wrapping her arms around Meredith's sobbing body and rocking back and forth slowly. She didn't know how long they stayed there but eventually Mer's sobs slowed and her breath became even signaling that she had cried herself to sleep. Her cell phone rang just then. It was Izzie asking if Meredith was there, then the story came pouring out of her, taking a little longer than necessary because she had to repeat the words Christina couldn't understand. Finally the women hung up with Izzie promising to come by in the morning after going to check in on Alex and Ethan. Only then did Christina allow her self to cry, because life was unfair and she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to again.

A/N: Again nothing really big happened. I was planning on putting in Alex's and Meredith's next "confrontation" I guess you could say, in here but I got tired and frustrated and it would have been another couple of days till I could post it and I felt you guys deserved this. Soo.. review I want atleast three reviews before I'll post the next chapter. Next up what happened with Alex and Ethan that night and then the next morning/day. Maybe if I'm feeling good and I get more reviews I put in a small flashback of what happened with the shooting. Ohh gasp haha.


	4. Another

_A/N: Wow so this chapter gave me so many problems it's unbelievable. I restarted it like nine different times and then literally had to write a line a day so I'm extremely sorry for the horrendous wait but its summer so I should have more time to update frequently, well as frequently as I can lol._

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_We hide behind the lies we tell ourselves. We ignore the truth in order to protect ourselves from the pain that comes with that truth. It's an automatic human response to bathe your self in denial when a tragedy occurs. When the picture perfect world you have been living in is shattered beyond repair. _

He had stood there, somewhere between limbo and reality after she left. Somewhere in his mind he knew he should be heading back, his ears registered the frantic whispering Izzie was doing, most likely freaking out and he knew that when she got like that not even Mark could calm her. Right now, though, he needed to stand there and pretend like his wife hadn't just walked out on the most horrific night of both their lives. A pull on his pant leg pushed him out of his revere and back into the blinding light of reality.

"Daddy-" Jeez Ethan had called him that since he turned seven, according to him 'big boys' didn't say daddy.

He squatted down, making sure he was eye level with his son before answering.

"Hey buddy," his voice was surprisingly strong for how weak he felt at the moment.

"Where'd mommy go?"

"She had to leave for awhile, but she'll be back," looks like denial is the theme of the night.

"Sir, can we speak to you," he turned, facing an older police office. His badge read Michaels.

"Sure, Ethan go wait with Aunt Izzie and I'll be right back, okay?"

The young boy nodded, disappearing from view moments later.

* * *

The sliver of light that always happens to peek through the curtains and burn out her corneas greeted Christina the next morning. Her usual response was to roll over and pray to the God of time that she had at least another hour of sleep before having to take on the role of mommy/surgeon again. Of course just like any other day _that_ God seemed to be sleeping himself because the pitter patter of tiny feet, unmistakably Allie's tiny little feet, greeted her ears next. A small moan escaped Christina's mouth seconds before a small body was haphazardly thrown on top of her causing a grunt to emit from Christina's mouth.

"Mommy…. Mommy, Aunt Meredith is cleaning the floor with a toothbrush."

Now stranger things have left Allie's mouth, including the theory she concocted about pink fairies that stole the Halloween candy that her mother had confiscated as a result of a sugar high, but the way she said it made the memories of the previous night flood back so fast the wind was knocked out of her.

Christopher's voice came up the stairs.

"Allison Marie, if you don't get down her in ten seconds we're leaving without you."

"Coming daddy, bye mommy, love you," and then she was gone.

"Meredith, and her stupid land of denial," she muttered before peeling herself up of the sheets and taking the cold trek downstairs.

Yea, Allie had told her, but finding Meredith on her hands and knees with a toothbrush, on her kitchen floor was more surprising then Christina could take at the moment.

"Mer… Meredith. GET OFF THE FREAKING FLOOR!" it came out much harsher then she intended it to be, the way Mer jumped told her that, but the prospect of having _this_ conversation with her best friend wasn't an option.

Her scrubbing ceased, but she still hadn't moved and suddenly her soft whisper filled the tense kitchen.

"It hurts, like my heart has been ripped out and put in a blender," the pain in her voice almost made Christina break right then but it wasn't her time, it was Meredith's.

"And I feel like I should be angry, like I should yell or scream or kill, because we couldn't save her – _I_ couldn't save her," her voice had gotten softer as she continued causing Christina to crouch down.

"And I don't hate my son, I love him with all my fault, but I left, I ran like I used to do," and she turned, her eyes meeting Christina's. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

"No, that makes you human, that makes you a mother that just lost a fourth of her family. It makes you human."

The front door open and slammed shut, they twisted to meet Alex.

"Mer, they think another person was in the room when Ella died!"

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_A/N: ahh that was terribly short, a page and a half, but I have the other part almost completely finished I just wanted to put something up even if it was just a sort of filler. Review and I'll post the next part which is by far the most interesting chapter in this story. Oh and the quote at the beginning is mine haha._


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